Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
