OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
