Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
