I'd wear matching sweaters with you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
