how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
