i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
