Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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