Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
