i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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