How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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