dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
