Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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