she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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