ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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