we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
