Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
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No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize