Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
