can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She needs sedatives and a leash
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
