May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
