im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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