I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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