Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
