What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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