OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
one two three fourrrrnication!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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