she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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