Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My life is pants optional.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
