when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize