Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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