i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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