My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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