So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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