Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
