And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
