Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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