I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
