i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
