I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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