Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
