He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
