Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
