She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize