Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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