he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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