At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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