Porn is love you can see.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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