I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
