There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
