Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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