are you still at the devil's house?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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