Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize