Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
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Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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