The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Damn victory sex feels great
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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