Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
