He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
