dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
