I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
