just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
