I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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