youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Drunk is not a location!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
