he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize