You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
